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Bengali web series: FAMILY

EPISODE 8: নামে কিবা কাম (What's in a name)

AN OVER CONFIDENT DATING !

Created by Sanjib Nath

 

SCREENPLAY

A) EXT. PLAY GROUND - EVENING

Hero is sitting in a river side  romantic place.  It's a play ground  but mostly used for romantic couples.  He's sitting on the ground holding  a packet of nuts  in his hand.

In the mean time the girl, who's referred as condom di by Hero, walks towards Hero. She comes and stands in front of Hero.

GIRL

Hello, Guitar-bro...

HERO

What a surprise ! Black-beauty is here.

GIRL

Anything wrong ? You forgot today to call me as...

Condom-sister !

HERO

Stupid Ram told you about this name too !

GIRL

May I sit here ?

HERO

Sure...

You may sit, you may lie,

I'm all your's.

GIRL

No, I mean...

You don't like dark complexion, right ?

HERO

Yeah, it was so. Black money and white b... I mean, beauty.

Because of the demonetization effect,

I started liking black-beauties along with white money.

GIRL

Good, good. Good for our country.

By the way, it wasn't necessary to rephrase the bitch by beauty.

That word defines your culture.

HERO (after offering nuts to her)

Hey, aren't you talking shit ?

GIRL

Why ?  Do only boys have the birth right to talk shit ?

Whatever, won't you take me to a hotel ?

HERO

Hotel ?   What do you mean ?

GIRL

Do you think I will fall for you for few nuts ?

I was talking about a hotel for dinner.

What did you think ?

HERO

What can I think ?

Did you leave anything for me to think ?

GIRL (while sitting near him)

But, that day you were talking too much about fantasization.

HERO

That was to impress you.

GIRL

Do you think I was impressed ?

HERO

I'm sure that, you are.

And... I can see that now.

GIRL

So much of confidence is not good for health.

It can lead to over confidence at anytime !

HERO

No way...

GIRL

Control yourself, Guitar-bro.

Otherwise you'll stumble so badly,

that you'll forget even fantasizing !

HERO

Take a bet... This is a bet.

I'm confident, I won't stumble.

And... I don't believe in fantasization.

I believe in real thing!

GIRL

You lose your control in the name of hotel,

and now faking about believing in real thing !

HERO (gets up n pulls up holding her hand)

Let's go... to the hotel.

Look, after going there,

I mean, don't lose control even before reaching the hotel.

GIRL

Well, you don't lose control after going to the hotel.

Where is the hotel ?

HERO

Let me take you to that side, hotel QUEEN.

GIRL

Wow !  This side, that side...

You must be having lot of experiences.

HERO

This is not about experience, sweet heart.

This is called knowledge.

Let me share with you in QUEEN...

Knowledge!

Both of them starts walking towards the ferry ghat as if Hero is taking her on a dating. It was more of an overconfident dating. They take a ferry and take ride to the other side of the river.

B) INT. OFFICE CUM RESIDENT – NIGHT

Chanakya is relaxing on his bed kept on the floor of the big office hall under the fan. Hero is practicing guitar sitting on a chair. Ram is sitting of the floor under a switched on light and reading some study material. They are talking to each other. Hero is sharing his encounter with condom di. Ram gets a blank call and keeps his mobile on a chair after a few "hello"s.

CHANAKYA

I don't understand your style.

RAM

Hello...hello...

HERO

Yeah Chaka, I totally forgot to ask the name.

RAM

That's ok ! Temporarily use the name 'Condom-sister'.

HERO

'Condom-sister' name is for your use,

not mine.

It's black-beauty for me.

But, thanks to you.

RAM

Why ? Why ?

HERO

Initially I got angry on you,

because you told her about the name 'Condom-sister'.

Then I realized, because of you only

I got to hear the word from her mouth.

You'll never know the pleasure of hearing the word CONDOM from a girl,

unless you hear yourself.

And the way you keep your head down on books,

I'm sure you'll never get to know about that pleasure.

CHANAKYA (absent minded)

What will Ram never get to know ?

He is studying day and night.

HERO (laughing)

Well said Chaka,

studying day and night.

But this is not that study.

There are subjects which need to be studied.

And there are few other subjects which need to be felt first,

after that, need to be felt further in depth with precaution.

RAM

What is this Hero ?

Stop your confusing dialogues.

CHAKA

Why confusing ? Hero is correct only.

First you study with your Madam,

then you feel and by-heart it.

In case of trouble, go to Madam.

HERO (Satire)

Very well said, Chaka.

Let him grab his Madam tomorrow only and...

RAM

You don't know Chaka...

CHANAKYA

I know everything.

You're reading all the time, but I don't see any fruitful result !

And he... couldn't even ask a girl her name,

and throwing big big dialogues !

HERO

What's in a name, Chaka?

Especially when everything is happening without the name !

Forget about the name, black-beauty fell for me for few nuts only.

My understanding about her intention was validated by my sixth organ.

I mean, sixth sense.

Immediately I proposed to take her to a hotel.

RAM

What are you saying ?

CHANAKYA

Did you take her to a hotel ?

What was the menu in your dinner ?

HERO

Chaka, you're spoiling my mood.

How can you think I'll take her to a hotel for dinner ?

Did you ever hear that, I'm taking a girl to hotel...

that too for dinner ?

CHANAKYA

I don't understand this generation at all.

We almost used to pee on pants in fear,

if we had to offer a girl peanuts. And you guys...

HERO

It's almost same in this generation too.

Except the fact, peanuts are neatly packed these days,

and fear is wrapped by a plastic cover.

And the pee...

RAM

Forget about metaphor.

You fought with her in college on the other day.

When did you impress her ?

HERO (hitting on guitar string)

Confidence.

This is called confidence, bro... Confidence!

White babes fall for me, without much effort.

And you're asking about black-beauty !!

On my guitar's string,

and with my fake fighting, she was already impressed.

RAM

Is it ?

HERO

Isn't it ?

Otherwise why would she come behind me in the bank of river ?

RAM

Get out of the river bank, and enter into the hotel please.

HERO

Control was totally lost in the hotel !

RAM

Whose ?  Your ?

HERO (unpleasant smile)

Are you joking, huh?

Who else ? Her only !

Can you imagine ?

Dark hotel room... and a virgin girl.

CHANAKYA (tired and sleepy eyes)

What? Gin?

But you don't drink alcohol, right ?

HERO

Oh dear Chaka, this is not that Gin.

This is vir-gin.

CHANAKYA

God knows !  In out time...

RAM

Can we move out of Mohenjo-daro civilization ?

And, concentrate on hotel room uncivilization ?

HERO

Why so much of interest ?

What do you expect after that?

It's all censored.

I can't tell you in detail what happened after that.

But you should know, my hands' touches were creating arts...

C) INT. HOTEL ROOM – EVENING

Hero holds black beauty's hands and pulls her towards him. She comes closure and looks at his eyes intensely.

GIRL

Heeero, Is it ?

Did you think that I'm a guitar?

I'll start playing with your touch !

I'm a girl. A living being !

You just can't play with a girl like guitar.

You can play a guitar without rhythm...

But, you can't play with a girl just like that.

You can only play with her rhythmically !

No Hero can play with a girl without rhythm.

Asking one's name is a basic etiquette.

It's good to have confidence, but not over confidence.

You'll surely stumble then.

Bye.... I believe, you can't even fantasize in this mood.

By the way... Ai mood e to fantasize o hobe bole mone hoy na!

Just enjoy your nuts, I mean peanuts...

Hero's hands keep holding her hands without saying any word. He looks very ashamed and clueless.

D) INT.   HOTEL RECEPTION – NIGHT

Hero holds reception guy's hands, and begs him to cancel and refund his hotel booking money.

HERO

Actually Sir...

I need to cancel my booking for an urgent matter.

Can you please consider refunding my money ?

You know... I mean... Please Sir...

I've used the room for few minutes only !

Please...

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