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Bengali web series: FAMILY

EPISODE 5: নামের ব্যাখ্যা (The naming convention)

MMS AND ANGER MANAGEMENT

Created by Sanjib Nath

 

SCREENPLAY

Michael and Juktamukhi both are sitting in their drawing room. Michael, little down in health because of his previous night hangover,  is busy reading  on the screen  of his Lenovo laptop latest model on his table and chair. Juktamukhi is on a stool. She looks at Michael for a while in anger and tries to convince him to stop looking at his favourite Lenovo 15 inch laptop screen while she is having an important conversation with  him.  However  she  gets more  irritatingly  angry  and  disturbed  seeing  him reluctant about it. Situation is similar to the serious and silent sky, clouds and trees just before the starting of a huge storm.

JUKTAMUKHI

Tumi chharbe laptop ta?

MICHAEL

Tumi balo na ki bolbe.

JUKTAMUKHI

R katobar jigyes karbo

Je kalke kothay chhile?

MICHAEL

Bollam to office e,

Party te.

Matal der awaz o shuniye diyechhilam,

Nijeo matal hoye phirechhilam.

Abar ki chao?

JUKTAMUKHI

Ami sotyi-ta jante chai.

MICHAEL

Bollam to…

JUKTAMUKHI

Amar dike takiye balo

Jao bolbe.

MICHAEL

Keno tumi ki lie detective machine

Je takiye bolle red bip debe?

JUKTAMUKHI

Tomar oi laptop ta chhere

Kotha bolte ki problem hochhe!

MICHAEL

Ami chokh diye kotha boli na!

Mukh diye boli.

(looking at her)

Hya, balo.

Gitay haat rekhe

Ki sotyi bolte hobe!

JUKTAMUKHI

Tumi kaal office theke soja bari esechhile?

Ke tomay chhere diye gelo?

MICHAEL

Amar mone nei.

JUKTAMUKHI

Mod-er songe songe moner matha kheyechhile

Seta to bujhlam.

Kintu, tomar gari kothay?

MICHAEL

Office e!

JUKTAMUKHI

Eta ki kore mone achhe,

Je gari office e?

Sotyi kore balo

Ke chharte esechhilo?

Tomar oi receptionist?

MICHAEL

Kiser receptionist?

JUKTAMUKHI

Tomar ki cholchhe ta ki?

Laptop shows matrix hero-villain slow motion fighting scene. Michael secretly dials Hero’s number on his Micromax latest android mobile and makes his mobile volume down while talking to Juktamukhi. He smiles little exaggeratedly when call gets connected to Hero.

JUKTAMUKHI

Tumi amar dike takiye kotha balo.

Amar matha phete jachhe…

R tomar,

Eto hasi ki dekhe berochhe?

MICHAEL

Shono eta, husband bolchhe…

“shashur shashuri bodh hoy sea-saw khelte khelte

payda korechhilo duto ke.

Baro ta aituku chhotto,

R chhoto ta aisa baro”.

JUKTAMUKHI

Tomar ekhon joke porar somay holo!

R ki eto interesting joke eta?

O darao darao… bujhechhi.

Tumi amar baba ma bhai niye compare korle,

Tai na?

Tomar eto dur nongra chinta je…

At this point the mobile call gets disconnected and his Micromax latest phone screen light goes on and off. Juktamukhi’s attention goes on the screen and she realizes that Michael was making this conversation listening to someone.

JUKTAMUKHI

Kake shonachho amader kotha?

Ke eto tomar piriter

Je tumi kato dukhye achho

Na janale tomar

Hangover katchhe na?

Michael gets little angry too and connects to Hero again and tells him about his previous night joke comparison. Hero again disconnects the call.

MICHAEL

Katle keno baby,

Shono…

Eger din bolchhile na

“such a meaningless comparison”?

dekhle to,

Srimoti Juktamukhi mukh jukto kore

Kemon meaning buje comparison ta dhorlo!

na na, rakhbe keno,

ebar amar shradhyo kibhabe hoy

setao shono…

(call gets disconneted)

JUKTAMUKHI

Amar baba ma na hoy sea-saw khelte khelte

amader janmo diyechhilo.

Tomar baba ma ki korte korte tomar mato

Suputro-ke payda korechhilo?

Hya…?

Saap ludu khelte khelte?

Tai tumi ekbar eke kato to

R Ekbar oke chobol maro?

R ke tomake pirit kore dudh kola khaoyachhe,

Je take na shonale tomar r hochhe na?

MICHAEL (concentrates on his laptop)

JUKTAMUKHI

Ki achhe ai laptop tar modhye,

Daao to Dekhi ekbar…

She goes near to the table and start pulling the laptop. Immediately Michael closes the laptop screen and places it safely on the book self. Juktamukhi becomes angrier as she couldn’t take her anger out of his Lenovo laptop and tries to snatch his Micromax mobile handset to throw on the floor.

Accidentally she put pressure on the table corner and breaks one leg wheel of the table. Michael somehow saves his newly bought Micromax latest phone. She gets furious after that.

MICHAEL

Ki bhebechho ki tumi?

Khub sahosh hyechhe tomar, huh!

JUKTAMUKHI

Amar ki go,

Sahosh to tomar berechhe.

Raat dupure receptionist

Barir dorjay chupi chupi chhere jachhe.

Tomar gari office e pore thakchhe.

Amar sada-mata bhai ta-ke uskachho!

MICHAEL

Tomar bhai-ke ami uskiyechhi?

By the way, Parash sada-mata noy,

Beka-tera!

JUKTAMUKHI

Amar bhai ja khushi hok,

Tomar sahos hoy ki kore

oke Juhi ke niye uskanor?

MICHAEL

Shala naam-er belay sab ekkebare…

Beka taal gachh ta Parash-Pathor,

R mutki hathi ta Juhi-Chawla…

R edike sarakhyon mukh ha korei ache,

Se kina juktamukhi.

Kopal amar,

Ami naki uskate gechhi!

JUKTAMUKHI

Naam-er bekhya tumi r nai ba korle,

MMS!

MICHAEL

(gets up towards her immediately in anger as if someone untruthfully blamed on an sms service provider)

Khabor-dar na, bole dichhi.

JUKTAMUKHI

Jole gelo naki?

Ebar giye srodhyeyo soshur moshai ke jigyes kore asbo,

Ki su-matlab niye MMS naam rekhechhilen tomar.

Lok ke angul dekhano aage

Nijer dike takao…

MICHAEL

Amake gyan dite hobe na,

Nijer kutil mon-e jor lagiye

Dekho parash pathor ki operation chalachhe.

JUKTAMUKHI

Oh… tai boli.

Kutil kotha-ta Parash kotha theke sikhlo!

Khabordar bole dichhi,

Amar bhai ke ulto palta…

MICHAEL

Keno, Tomar bhai ki dudh-khaoya bachha?

Mutki-r ghaare chore prem marate parchhe, r…

JUKTAMUKHI

Mukh samle kotha balo!

Ki bhasay bou-er songe kotha bolte hoy,

Jano na?

MICHAEL

Janbo na, dibbi jaani.

Tobe oi kotha-ta ki jeno ache,

Jemni… bou

Temni mugur.

JUKTAMUKHI

Ki bolle?

PARASH (enters into the drawing room from outside / VO)

He…he…he…

Ai Didi, Tora jhogra korchhis?

Laptop screen shows the final fighting scene where hero enters inside villain’s body and comes out destroying him. Michael and Juktamukhi look towards the door.

JUKTAMUKHI

Not now!

MICHAEL

Oh yes…

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