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Bengali web series: FAMILY

EPISODE 1: বউ (The wife)

Starting with a romantic song doesn't mean a happy ending!

Created by Sanjib Nath

 

SCREENPLAY

Man trying to lip kiss a lady holding her head with his left hand and her body with his right hand. Both are well dressed.  She is trying to escape.  The man is forcing to kiss her.  She stretches her hand towards the dressing table and finds a lipstick after a bit struggle. She immediately applies a thick layer of lipstick on her lips and starts laughing at him  as he cannot kiss her now  because of the fact  that lipstick will spoil his lips.  He leaves her loosing the game  and  fakely cleans his lips  with her saree’s end.

Both husband and wife continue to dress up for party. Husband starts singing a Hindi song.

Husband is combing hair after dressing up. Wife wearing saree in front of the mirror. Her shampooed hair showing the volume and husband trying to sneak in towards the mirror from the back side of his wife. They are in a very soothing mood. Wife is smiling and naughtily not allowing him to look his image on mirror properly by making obstacle with her shoulders and head. Husband peeping once from left side and then from right and so on. He is smelling her hair, touching her neck and hands romantically every time he looses the game. She is also enjoying it and fakely trying to disallow him.

Mood starts swing with time and dialogs.

 

HUSBAND (singing Hindi song incorrectly)

swearing on my banana…

WIFE

Swear on what ?

HUSBAND

Making fun of me !

WIFE

How dare I do such mistake !

HUSBAND

I can clearly see that.

WIFE

Is it ?

Then why are you trying to change

your great crow hair style ?

HUSBAND

It's all because of your pride

of volumized hair shampoo !

WIFE

False allegation.

Anyways, can you bend down now to my feet ?

I mean, help me to wear my saree.

HUSBAND

What if I deny ?

WIFE

Then you'll only get late for your party.

HUSBAND (while helping her on saree’s fold)

Name one job which you can do alone.

You can't even wear your dress by your own !

But, look at the attitude of you...

and all of you wives !

WIFE

What's wrong with all of us ?

HUSBAND

Everything is wrong.

You need our help to wear your clothes !

We have to confirm the salt in your cooking.

Husbands have to compliment wives after make-up !

We have to agree on couple's chemistry in the TV serial.

We've to predict which photo will get more likes on facebook !

Why the hell shall I help ?

Do I seek help for my jobs ?

After helping also you'll anyway bite...

WIFE

You're the one who is biting,

just for asking a small help.

Ok, leave it.

Anyway I have no interest on your booze party.

She puts off her saree and starts wearing a regular night dress.

HUSBAND

Hey, what happened ?

Why are you taking off your saree ?

WIFE

Don't be happy at all...

I'm not taking off clothes for your pleasure.

HUSBAND

I'm sure about that.

You can't digest my happiness.

WIFE

You better don't talk about happiness.

You don't even bother about the mood to start…

HUSBAND

Don't you dare to lie.

Did I ever force you to be intimate ?

WIFE

Oh God!

Can't you think about anything else ?

I was referring the mood to start boozing.

And you take a note of this,

we wives discuss with husbands whatever we do.

And you husbands...

Your jaw drops seeing a girl,

even though your mouth badly smells with cigarette smoke !

You vomit everywhere when you booze,

but you've to drink like a fish when you get free alcohol.

You don't even know your wife's height,

but receptionist's numbers are memorized !

You guys save your jobs by copying from google,

but never feel ashamed of criticising us for recipe books.

And hey, I meant phone numbers while saying receptionist's numbers.

I'm sure numbers for you guys are only 36-36-36 !

 

Husband gets angry more than anything, couldn’t say anything in reply. Goes out of the room while blabbering…

HUSBAND

Talking to you is truly pointless.

Husbands have enough reasons to drink.

He goes out shutting the door with big sound, and almost immediately opens the door.

HUSBAND

And by the way, it is 36-26-36.

Statistic is 36-36-36 only for pigs.

And of course, for wives like you !

He again shuts the door and goes out.

WIFE

What the hell did you just say ?

You better come here and talk to me…

He hears her voice from outside and doesn’t bother to come back. On a contrary, he looks very satisfied with his reply and shows a “yes” with his hand and fist.

WIFE

Don't you dare leave now without answering me...

and don't flip your collar in pride.

His mild smile vanishes from his face for a moment and apears back. He opens the door again and peeps in.

WIFE

I know you very well.

HUSBAND

You don't know me at all.

I clenched my fist with a 'yes'

 

DRAWING ROOM

He shuts the door even louder, starts wearing shoes and finds his brother in law coming towards his house while taking out his shoes from shoe rack.

BROTHER-IN-LAW

Are you going to a party?

HUSBAND

Yeah...

You go inside, your sister is in there.

Hey, how's your wife doing ?

BROTHER-IN-LAW

Who ? Juhi ?

My sister is not letting her to be my wife !

HUSBAND

Not to worry, I'm with you.

You just make her agree to leave her house

and inform me after getting married in a temple.

I'll manage after that.

BROTHER-IN-LAW

Will you ?  Thank you my dear brother-in-law.

My sister doesn't like Juhi at all.

HUSBAND

I'll surely manage.

But at first, you bring her to the temple.

BROTHER-IN-LAW

Okay boss !

I can't imagine my relation with Juhi without your support.

I'll do the 'operation' tomorrow morning itself.

HUSBAND

You go inside now.

And listen... don't tell your sister about this.

BROTHER-IN-LAW

No way !

He shows his brother-in-law thumbs up and his brother-in-law enters inside the house. He wears his shoes and slowly walks towards outside.

HUSBAND (VO)

Tit - for - Tat !